Before, During, and After Vacation

Dover Beach, Barbados

Those who know me well know that I love taking vacations!  I have a college friend who swears that I am always on vacation!  Truth be told I look forward to the day when I can work 6 months and be on vacation for 6 months :)  Vacations give me an opportunity to "renew" myself.  I take the opportunity to finish books I started months ago.  I eat healthier when I am on vacation - on purpose!  I am usually more active too - I seem to walk more, swim more, and play more.  I take the opportunity to get closer to God.  It is something about the ocean that brings me closer to God and I take the time to have some cleansing conversations with Him.  

This week I am in Barbados.  While sitting on the beach today I finished my book club book, "The Shack" and started a re-read, "In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man" by Michelle McKinney Hammond.  I began thinking about all the things I did (or didn't do) "before" vacation that I need to change, the things I can begin doing while I am here "during" vacation, and what my life "after" vacation will look like.  This is a part of the "renewing" process for me.  Documenting it here is cleansing because it will hold me accountable!  So here is what I came up with.

BEFORE VACATION

• I was slacking on exercising - down to less than 2 days in the past month (not good!)
• I was giving God the silent treatment because I felt He was punishing me by putting me in a situation that was familiar but not comfortable.
• My house was a HOT MESS and I hated going home to it!    
• My weight was spiraling out of control - even though I had been eating much better for a long time. 

DURING VACATION

• I began brisk walking each morning for 30 minutes.
• I apologized to God and started talking to and praising Him for all He has done for me.
• I took the opportunity to write out 5 goals, one of which includes getting my house back in order, and another is not being afraid to throw some things away that I have been holding on to.
• Along with the 5 goals I also started brainstorming about how to get rid of this excess weight once and for all!

AFTER VACATION

• I will continue walking 30 minutes each day (with the goal of getting to the point where I can run 30 minutes each day) and I will add swimming back into my routine.
• I will continue my conversations with God in the same way I talk to my best girlfriends - straight, no chaser - and I expect the same from Him.
• I will tackle my house, one room at a time and throw out (or sell) anything I haven't used in the past 2 months.  Books and Cooking Utensils included!
• I will recommit to losing 50 pounds! I have more than that to lose but I have to start someplace.  I will also post my "before" photo - as much as I hate to face the ugly reality.

Although I am far from being completely "renewed" on this vacation (its only day 3) I know that getting the rest I need is the beginning of my process.  My first day here I slept for 10 hours straight - clearly I need this renewal!

This Journey is All Mine!
Rhonda

Sometimes You Just Need to Get Away!

Every year since my daughter was 3 (she is now 13) I'd take a "Mommy Vacation".  At first this was my opportunity to escape parenthood and hang with my high school and/or college friends in some tropical location.  Each of us left the kids and husbands/boyfriends at home and spent days and nights laughing and joking about the old days, school, and our lives.  For about 5 years straight we headed to Barbados.  As time went on our paths changed, our likes and dislikes varied, and some how those group vacations ended.  

For the last four years I've taken my "mommy vacations" alone.  Something I never thought I'd do.  When I was younger my mother would tell me, "if you wait on other people you'll never go anywhere". And she was so right!  Now I don't even ask, I just book my week at my favorite (not so far away) beach location - Cape May, NJ, at my favorite bed and breakfast, Akwaaba Bed and Breakfast, and I go!  Other than my reservation I don't plan any events or activities.  I decide, when I wake up, what I am going to do that day.  Some days I go to the beach, one day I treat myself to a movie, some evenings I head to Sunset Beach and enjoy the sunset, and most evenings I enjoy a delicious dinner, at a restaurant, all by myself. 

I have been going to Cape May and staying at Akwaaba for about 7 years.  Owner and former Essence Magazine Editor-in-Chief, Monique Greenwood, is like an old friend.  This year when I walked in the door she greeted me with a warm "Welcome Home!"  I go there to feel like I am on a respite from the daily grind of parenthood but I feel like I am at home - my home away from home.  

This was my room for the 5 days I stayed this year.  I'll share more about my trip in a later blog but every time I look at this photo it reminds me that Sometimes You Just Need to Get Away!

Where do yo go to get away??

SWIM for Your Life!

This week's tragic drowning of 6 teens in Shreveport, LA has prompted me to pull an old "Parent Pause" post that I wrote for parents whose children are registered on the swim team with my daughter.  It is the story of my Mother and her experience the summer prior to her Freshman year in college.  It is my hope that my Mother's story and the tragedy of the 6 teens in Shreveport will prompt EVERYONE to learn to swim.

Olympic Gold Medalist, Cullen Jones, has partnered with USA Swimming Foundation's Make a Splash initiative to ensure that every child learns to swim and to decrease drowning statistics among minority youth.  I challenge you to learn to swim if you don't know how or to save a child's life by sponsoring a series of swim lessons for that child at your local recreation/aquatic center.  What ever you do - Do Something!

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PARENT PAUSE 


DC Wave Swim Team

October 7, 2008

Remember a couple of weeks ago I spoke of being in the right place at the 
right time?  Well here we go again.  Two Saturdays ago on a 
flight to Los Angeles I engaged in a conversation with one of my co-workers 
about Olympic Swimming.  She is new to our organization and asked if I had 
children.  Of course I began talking, very proudly, about my pride and joy - 
Kai.  Of course it turned into a discussion about minorities and swimming. 
 I always get the question about how Kai became interested in competitive 
swimming and it inevitably leads to the discussion about the fact that there are not many people of color who make it to the Olympics (and not many who 
can even swim!).

Well, here is the story I gave her and everyone else that brings it up.  When 
my mother was 18 years old growing up in Norfolk, VA she was given the opportunity to work at a camp in New Hampshire as a counselor.  She loved 
children and needed the money to attend college.  She'd been accepted into 
Lehman College in NY as a physical education major on a full scholarship but 
needed living expense money and money to take the bus from VA to NY to 
college.  Her father was a Navy Seaman and at the time her mother had never held a job 
outside of the home.  So the opportunity to go to New Hampshire provided an opportunity to earn money, work with children, and get away from Norfolk for 
the summer before college.

One afternoon after arriving to camp the counselors decided to have a 
cook-out at the lake where the camp was located.  Because the sand was wet 
they decided to sit on the boat dock.  Well, after the cookout they 
decided to horseplay on the dock.  One of the male counselors pushed my Mom 
off the dock and then ran after another counselor to catch her and throw her 
into the water.  What he did not know was my mother COULD NOT SWIM! And only 
her close friend, who had gone to the restroom in the camp lodge, knew that.  My 
mother recalled very vividly how she sank to the bottom of the lake and then pushed as 
hard as she could to make it back to the top with the hope that someone saw 
her hand as she desperately waved when she surfaced.  She was too scared to 
scream because she thought she would get water in her mouth and drown.  The 
last time she came up she realized everyone on the dock had run onto the 
beach and wasn't looking her way.  Thankfully a man in a boat witnessed what 
happened and rowed over to save her.  As she realized her waves were going 
unnoticed and she started to sink he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the 
boat - saving her life!  Of course as a physical education major she had to 
take swimming as a part of her degree requirements - so she took that class her first semester in college and 
mastered it enough to save herself if she ever needed to.

My mother said when she had me she knew she had to make sure I knew how to 
swim so I would never have to experience the fear of almost drowning.  At 
the age of 5 she took me to the local YMWCA in Newark, NJ and signed me up 
for “Learn to Swim” classes.  I was a natural in the water and at the 
conclusion of each class I cried because I did not want to leave the water. 
 When my brother was born she did the same with him.  So naturally when I 
had my first child (Kai), I did the same.  When Kai was 9 months old we enrolled in "Mommy and Me" swim classes.

Lets talk about the issue at hand.  How many of you can not swim??  I am not 
talking about competitive swimming; I am talking about swimming to save your 
life!  As a member of the swim team our children can swim very well - take the time to evaluate your 
own swimming skills - and make a change that could save your life!  I am very 
happy that the man in the boat saved my mother's life that day - in essence 
he saved my life too! Take the time to save your future generations.  You've made the first step 
by making sure your child can swim - now save yourself!

This Journey is All Mine,

Rhonda